Build good relationships at your new job

Why are relationships at work important?

Good social relationships at work are important for sharing knowledge and working in teams or on projects.

It's not necessarily about being friends, although a good work friend certainly makes going to work more enjoyable.

But if you have good relationships, you will feel safe expressing your opinion without stepping on anyone's toes, enabling you to exchange knowledge with colleagues and open doors in your career.

Get off to a good start working with your new colleagues

As a new employee, you are particularly dependent on effective collaboration with your colleagues.

You are fortunate if you have been assigned what many companies call a ‘buddy’ during the start-up period. This is a colleague who has set aside time and dedicated themselves to helping you get off to a good start in the workplace.

However, not all places have a formalised buddy system. If you have not been assigned a buddy, there is no other way forward than to ask your colleagues around you – and you should not feel guilty about disturbing them.

You will probably quickly discover who is willing to answer your questions and help you. You will have to find your way in the structure and culture of your new workplace.

Perhaps it is their experience that this unorganised approach works well, and it is a conscious choice made by the workplace.

Use the tour to make contact

You will probably start your new job by being shown around and meeting your new colleagues on one of your first days.

Be prepared to introduce yourself so that others can remember who you are and what you do.

Be clear about what you will be doing. Also talk about something you are passionate about in your work, or something that is related to what you will be doing.

Tell them a little about your personal interests. Maybe you like football, French films or a particular band, or maybe you brew beer in your basement. This can give others with the same interests or who are curious something to talk to you about.

How to find colleagues you haven't been introduced to

You will probably be introduced to the colleagues you are likely to work with.

But in a workplace, there are often colleagues with informal roles and skills that you cannot discern from their job description, but which would be beneficial to get to know.

Here, you can notice who the others ask questions to, who speaks in a way that makes the others listen, and who is mentioned as someone who can do or knows something specific.

You may also be challenged by the fact that many of your colleagues work from home a lot, so you miss sparring and perhaps also company at work.

Although it is difficult, you need to reach out. For example, ask your colleague if there are any days when she is in the office.

It is completely understandable that, as a new employee, you need to be physically in the same room when you are being trained and getting to know your colleagues. At the same time, you cannot change the culture of the department or how your colleagues organise their working lives.

But in any case, it is perfectly okay to voice your need for collegial support so that your colleagues and manager are aware of it and can help you deal with it.

Build a good relationship with your manager

It is important to build a good relationship with your manager, even if you are very self-directed. You can do this by meeting frequently, even if there is nothing specific to discuss.

Unlike other meetings, meetings with your manager do not need to have an agenda or minutes; instead, they are about building the relationship itself. This way, you can practise talking about small things before they potentially become big issues.

You can start by talking about how things are going. Tell them what has been difficult, exciting or surprising. Tell them what you did and what you plan to do.

Stay on your own turf and do not ask direct questions about your new manager's leadership style. You can probably sense it, and otherwise it should be the manager who takes the initiative to talk about it.

In addition to the relationship itself, it is also with your manager that you can align expectations regarding the level of task completion and prioritisation of tasks.

It is beneficial to be corrected in a friendly manner on an ongoing basis. You can also ask for feedback yourself if your manager does not provide it.

It varies greatly from workplace to workplace whether there is a fixed structure with regular one-on-one meetings with the manager or a culture where the manager is welcoming by saying ‘my door is always open, so just come in’.

The latter can be really difficult as a new employee. Nevertheless, we recommend that you ask your manager for feedback when you need it, as a good relationship with your manager is important for your well-being at work.

If there are no regular one-to-one meetings and your manager is not taking the initiative, you can ask the next most senior colleague in the department how they approached the relationship with their manager. It may also be possible to ask the HR department about this.