What should you do if your manager tries to push you out?

Henrik has long had a nagging feeling that his employer is trying to push him out.

Sometimes the feeling is hard to pin down and makes him wonder if he’s imagining things.

‘I have this feeling that I’m not doing a good enough job, even though nobody’s actually told me that.

But I can sense that I’m being kept away from work tasks and that my suggestions are being ignored, ’ he explains. Henrik is not his real name, as he does not wish to reveal it.

At other times, he is more certain that the intention is for him to feel unwanted.
 
‘I have been moved away from the open-plan office where all my staff sit, and into a small office, even though I did not want that. I have also had staff who reported to me removed, even though I said I needed them,’ says Henrik, who is a department head in a medium-sized company.
 
He describes his own situation as ‘quiet firing’ – a term that has become widespread in recent years.
‘There are several things pointing in that direction. If life is made difficult enough for me, I’ll probably just quit myself,’ he says.

There is no clear-cut definition of ‘quiet firing’

The term ‘quiet firing’ was coined by the American author and professor emeritus Bryan Robinson and describes a pattern of behaviour in which a manager overlooks and bypasses an employee, fails to provide feedback, or strips them of key responsibilities and tasks.

According to Jakob Gradel, a career counsellor at IDA, it is, however, difficult to draw a line and say when it constitutes deliberate behaviour, difficulties in working together, or simply poor management.

He and his colleagues in the career counselling team talk to members every month who have experiences that, to varying degrees, resemble Henrik’s.

‘They feel unseen or unrecognised, and when they try to talk to their boss about it, nothing happens’.

Members often want to know more about their rights, but their options for action are limited because managers in Denmark have broad powers to organise work as they see fit.

When can you say no to work tasks?

‘If, for example, you’re only given the same type of tasks that you find boring, it’s not necessarily because your manager has it in for you. It could also be because it’s really important that they get done, and you’re the best person for the job,’ explains Jakob Gradel.

He doesn’t use the term ‘quiet firing’ himself in his conversations, but he nevertheless believes there is a positive effect to it being increasingly used in the media.

‘It can be incredibly lonely to feel overlooked at work, and that’s why I think it can be healthy for some attention to be drawn to this issue. Because you might not be to blame for the situation at all, and you’re certainly not the only one exposed to poor management, quiet firing, or whatever else we choose to call it.’

Poor sleep and a bad mood

Henrik can really feel the uncertainty getting to him, even though he enjoys his work and his colleagues, and sometimes he thinks it would be easier to be dismissed so that he could get some clarity on his situation.

‘At times it weighs heavily on me, and then I sleep badly and am either sad or angry, thinking they can go to hell. I can also feel that it’s taking its toll on my energy for my family,’ he says.

That’s why Henrik has also prepared a plan B for what to do if he loses his job, but although that might be supposed to give him peace of mind, it annoys him first and foremost that it’s necessary.

‘Maybe it’s because I’m getting defiant, because it’s unjustified. I’m not saying I’m flawless, but I know I’m good at my job, and I also know I’m well-liked by my colleagues, ’ he says, emphasising that it’s not easy to say goodbye to a well-paid job when you don’t know what lies ahead.

Whether your manager is consciously or unconsciously trying to push you out, it is an untenable situation that you must act on, urges Jakob Gradel.

When he speaks to members, he always tells them they have three options: to accept and live with the situation, change it, or find another job.

Put up with it: A risky strategy

There may be compelling reasons to stay in your job, even if your relationship with your manager is strained.
For example, you may have good colleagues or flexible working arrangements that are essential for your family life to function. In such a situation, you might also hope that you’ll get a new manager in the near future, or that you can be assigned to other projects if you work in a larger organisation.  

But this is a risky strategy, emphasises career counsellor Jakob Gradel. Because it takes a toll on your mental health if you feel unwanted at work.

‘We all need our work to have meaning and to feel recognised. If those elements disappear, your motivation and professional self-confidence will quickly follow, and you risk burning out. Many people think that stress comes from being too busy, but it can just as easily be caused by boredom and a lack of meaning,’ explains Jakob Gradel.

He therefore believes that you should only wait and see if you feel that the positive aspects outweigh the negative ones, and that you have the opportunity to look after yourself.

Why you can become stressed if your work feels meaningless

Set yourself a deadline to improve your situation

If you’re generally happy with your job, you could try to change the situation by having a chat with your manager and finding a solution. It’s important here that you focus on your own perspective and explain how you’re experiencing the situation and what you’d like to change.

The problem for people experiencing quiet firing is simply that they have spoken to their manager but feel nothing is happening.

Jakob Gradel’s best advice here is to contact IDA’s career counsellors and get help drawing up a plan for what needs to change and a deadline for when it should happen.

How to get career advice from IDA

‘It's hard to say whether that deadline should be just a couple of weeks or six months. It depends on the extent of your dissatisfaction, but the important thing is that you don't keep putting off the decision as you feel worse and worse,’ explains Jakob Gradel.

If nothing has happened by your deadline, you might want to consider whether it is time to look for another job.

Apply for other jobs if necessary

Ultimately, the right solution may be to find another job, even though it is a difficult decision.

‘Firstly, there is the financial aspect and the uncertainty as to whether there is a better job out there at all. But beyond that, many members feel their sense of justice has been violated by being pressured out, and so they refuse to resign out of defiance,’ explains Jakob Gradel.

However, he believes that ultimately it may be the right solution if there is no prospect of improvement and if you are unhappy where you are.

‘Otherwise, you risk becoming ill from going to work.’